Hey guys. This past week has left me feeling exhausted. So I figured I'd share what I find to be one of my biggest personal struggles. This one is a real bitch. &yes, it's time for some straight talk.
I struggle with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). A couple years ago, my therapist suggested I look into getting a diagnosis because my symptoms were spot on. I didn’t even know what PMDD was, but after my official diagnosis, it made so much sense as to why I was feeling the way I was.
The hardest battle with PMDD is how it affects those around me, especially my loved ones. I’ve had great friendships and even relationships end because of the extreme side effects.
With premenstrual dysphoric disorder, what usually happens is the severe irritability, depression, or anxiety will start two weeks before my period starts and will go away three days after my period starts. I have found recognizing my symptoms and writing them down has helped me cope in a way where I can look at my journal and think to myself, “Okay, it’s starting. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions.” Validating my feelings is very important and I also find painting to be very therapeutic.
The most common misconception about PMDD is that it’s the same thing as PMS, and that’s very incorrect. It’s a severe form of PMS that can cause debilitating symptoms that interfere with a woman's ability to function. Living with PMDD is almost like being two different people. It’s not your typical ‘I have cramps and want ice-cream PMS’. It’s feeling extremely sensitive, overwhelmed, and paranoid for no reason and it affects work, school, and relationships.
Usually during these two weeks, I will send out a text as a ‘heads up’ to my closest friends, family, and even employers. I make the personal choice to cut out as much contact as I possibly can in order to not further ruin any relationships. I don’t answer my texts. I turn down invites. But I wish people knew the only reason I do so is because I know I am the worst version of myself at that time and can’t function, think, or focus properly. It’s not anything against them at all.
If I could tell someone with PMDD one thing, I would tell them to give yourself a break and acknowledge the way your feeling is not your fault. I recommend therapy and having an outlet where you can express yourself, but most of all, give yourself a fucking break- you’re only human.
~Happily, my post has been featured in the 'Just Like You' series blog by Becca Ferry, 'The Warrior Blog' on Me Vs. PMDD, and Power-Period.org
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